Answer Man: Are bidets really hot? And $2,300?

Answer Man: Are bidets really hot? And $2,300?

Today’s batch of burning questions, my smart-aleck answers and the real deal:

Question: I recently read where bidets are the new big thing in bathrooms. Some comedians state that the time before they started using a bidet was a dark (brown) time in their life and they are now enlightened. What exactly is a bidet, how do you pronounce it, is it true it will save you time and money, can both men and women use one?

My answer: Wait a minute…that’s not a water fountain? Oh, the horror…

Real answer: First of all, you pronounce it, “Bih” as in the first syllable of “biscuit,” and “day” as in, “I ate so many biscuits, I spent the whole day on the bidet.” It is not pronounced “by day,” as in, “I use toilet paper at night, the bidet by day.”

You’re welcome, and yes, those crappy puns are an indication of how high-brow this column is going to be.

Anypoo, the reader may be referencing in part a story we carried from USA Today back in January titled, “Do you need a bidet? The butt-spritzing toilet gizmos are making a splash in the U.S.”

Get it? A “splash?”

More:Answer Man: Does JBL Soccer Complex have flood insurance? Mission vaccine objector rate?

To answer another of the questions, the number two, you could say, a bidet, as USA Today notes, can either be an attachment to a regular toilet — usually a wand and hose gizmo — or a separate device that sort of looks like a toilet but is set up for the primary function of a bidet: spritzing your hind quarters with water to clean up the mess without using toilet paper.

And yes, bidets are having a moment:

“Bidet seats and bidet toilets in the U.S. are currently a $106 million category expected to grow 15 percent annually through 2021, according to BRG Building Solutions’ October 2018 North American Shower Toilet & Bidet Seat Markets report,” USA Today reported. “And online retailer BidetKing.com has been seeing a sales growth of 30 percent year over year since 2016, says president James Lin.”

Here in Asheville, the Ferguson plumbing supply operation on London Road has really cracked the market. Seriously, they’ve seen strong demand for bidets, particularly the bidet seats with the wand attachments.

More:Answer Man: BMW of Asheville ready to move? Land Rover moving, too?

“More and more people are going to those,” said Shawna Henline, who is in sales support at Ferguson. “Space-wise, you can reuse (your fixture) in the existing bathroom. There are different options with the bidet seats, including some that you don’t have to have power for. With most of them, they do.”

The most basic ones would just be running cold water, which would be a bit, shall we say, enlivening down there.

“If you have the ability to have electric run over to it, you can put in a bidet seat that’s heated and has a drying function,” Henline said.

That makes for one happy bum, my friends.

While Americans typically don’t grow up using bidets, which are way more popular in Europe and Japan, once exposed to them, “they realize how great they are, and they come in here wanting them,” Henline said.

More:Answer Man: Biggest bear ever in North Carolina? 600-pounders in WNC?

Yes, you could say we’re behind the times.

As the separate fixture takes up more space and requires its own plumbing, the toilet seat bidets have become the most popular sellers. Some are pretty fancy, with vertical and horizontal sprays, for instance.

And yes, bidets work just fine for men and women.

At Ferguson, the non-heated basic cleansing toilet seat-type model starts at about $165, but the top of the line model with all the features runs about $2,300. The Japanese brand Toto has models ranging from about $500-$1,900.

As far as saving a lot of money, Henline said bidets obviously do cut down on costs for toilet paper or wipes. You do have to consider the initial costs and installation fees, though.

The newer bidets are pretty simple to use, and that has helped them grow in popularity, said Henline, who’s been in the plumbing supply business for 15 years.

“A lot of times with the regular bidet, it was almost like a basketball move you had to do — you had spin around and move, like you’re facing the wall,” Henline said with a laugh, adding that the newer models are really easy to use. “I tell people all time, once you’ve used one, you don’t want to go without it.”

Whew! Glad that segment is done. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m wiped!

Question: Can you find out what is the speed limit on Woodfin Place is? It’s a two-lane street off of Charlotte Street that becomes the on-ramp for 240-East. Cars turn at the light and accelerate up to highway speeds, making turning left toward Charlotte dangerous.

My answer: A little unexpected butt-spritzing would put the kibosh on that nonsense.

Real answer: “The speed limit on Woodfin Place is 35 mph,” said Asheville Police Department spokeswoman Christina Hallingse said. “Unless posted otherwise, the citywide speed limit is 35 mph, pursuant to Section 19-111 of the city’s municipal code.”

This is the opinion of John Boyle. To submit a question, contact him at 232-5847 or [email protected]